What does Loki want?
by die Otter
Summary: How did Loki end up on the throne? (TDW missing scene)


**Huge thanks to Expanded-Mind for beta reading this for me.**

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 **What does Loki want?**

 _"Forgive me, my liege. I have returned from the dark world with news."_

 _"Thor?"_

 _"There is no sign of Thor or the weapon. But..."_

 _"What?"_

 _"We found a body..."_

 _"Loki..."_

The last thing Loki could expect was that Odin would recognize him. Everything had been going so well up until this point. Thor, that big, naive oaf, had let him out of his cell, as if he truly believed that when they avenged their moth... when they avenged Frigga, the god of mischief would obediently return there and wait for idleness and his own demons to slowly drive him crazy. Dumb, kind-hearted Thor. Loki has to admit he's positively surprised by the changes that took place within his brother in the course of the past few months. The god of thunder had managed to surprise him several times during the past twenty-four hours, which hadn't happened even once during the past few centuries. He's becoming a worthy opponent. So it's even funnier how much he still underestimates Loki.

True, that stab through the chest was fairly accidental and, despite lots of healing magic involved, Loki still feels its effects, but it made it all so deliciously easy. The sight of Thor despairing over his brother's unmoving body, must have been equally funny and pathetic – Loki really regrets that he had to keep his eyes closed for the most dramatic part of the show, concentrating on his camouflage instead, so that the god of thunder didn't notice he was being tricked again. Maybe that is why Loki has decided to return to Asgard one more time, disguised as a soldier, and personally notify Odin of his own "death." He has been curious whether or not the All-Father will show any trace of emotion. He's delighted in the prospect of looking straight into the king's eyes when Odin let out that sigh of relief, convinced his problematic step-son is gone once and for all.

But when Odin turns around, pierces him with his eye and, in a tired, almost gentle voice, speaks his name, Loki suddenly realizes that the All-Father already knows. The god of lies has been seen through and is now one step away from defeat. But that is about the only thing that he and Thor have in common – surrender is not in their nature. Loki smiles, half triumphantly, half ominously, but then realizes with displeasure that on the bland face of the soldier whose identity he's borrowed the smile is not even partly as expressive as it should be. Having made sure they're alone, he casts a quiet warding spell on all the entrances that still lead to what has been left of the throne room after Malekith's attack and Thor's escape; then Loki returns to his true shape. The truest one, the one he hates so much – blue skin and eyes that are the color of blood.

"Hello, Father," he says in a low, mocking voice, deliberately emphasizing the last word.

He stands no chance in an open fight against the king of Asgard, but he sees something in his opponent which he recognizes and which could give him some advantage. If only he can win enough time... But Odin, unfortunately, must be aware of it too. Or perhaps he is not? After all, it has already surprised him once. Maybe if Loki provokes him enough, anger, as previously, will do the job? Odin, though, does not seem irritated. Only very, very tired.

"Loki," he repeats, even quieter than before. "What am I supposed to do with you?"

The god of lies frowns, trying to think of an answer that will be vicious enough for the occasion.

"You truly helped Thor to find your mother's murderer," the All-Father half asks, half states.

Loki blinks fiercely, trying to drive all the dark thoughts away; then, after a moment, he sends his opponent a predatory smile. He's already realized that this darkness might also contain the solution.

"Do you know who I also helped?" he asks, making sure that the sneer and scowl visible on his face cover all the other, surprisingly nobler and much more painful emotions. "Malekith's little friend from the dungeons. I was the one who pointed him in the right direction!" he announces triumphantly and bursts out laughing at the sight of Odin's shocked expression. Loki feels he's on the right track. "Surprised? So you too were stupid enough to believe I truly cared for her?" his traitorous mind sends him a picture of Frigga coming to his cell, bringing him books and fruit, constantly worrying and not judging him, despite everything he has done. "It would be such a pleasure to see you and Thor burn! Why would I feel differently about her? She lied to me, just like you all did. She let me believe I can be somebody. That I am somebody. A king! She manipulated me like everybody else did! She never said a word when Thor and his merry company..." he stops, realizing he has told more than he intended. "I couldn't care less about Frigga's death," he says to end his tirade, but he sees with terror that he has revealed too much. Time is running out and Loki is still unable to achieve his goal.

"I have seen your cell after the two of you escaped," Odin says impassively. The All-Father is still standing in the same spot, stooping only slightly, and nothing but the fingers holding Gungnir so hard they have already turned white shows that he must be feeling something after all. His voice sounds tired, but the king of Asgard still doesn't look as if he is about to fall asleep, which means that Loki has been wrong again. And Loki hates being wrong.

"Oh, and you think it was because of grief? How touching. All of you, after all this time, still expecting me to possess some redeeming qualities," he laughs mockingly, but still much more bitterly than he'd intended. "Thor and Frigga's belief doesn't even surprise me. They are both sentimental fools. But you? Great Odin, the All-Father, who lacked the courage to destroy the puppet which he had himself created and which had spun out of control. Because that is why I am still alive, is it not? If I were anyone else, you would have sent them to the gallows without as much as a blink. Admit it, you poor imitation of a father, that somewhere inside you still feel responsible for that which you have created. A monster!"

Loki becomes silent for a moment, concentrating on the inner battle against his emotions which once again threaten to come to the surface. He frantically checks the spells. He cannot fathom why still nobody tries to get into the throne room. And, even more importantly, why Odin lets this conversation drag on, instead of summoning the guards. After all, he must have already realized that Loki is stalling for time. He must be aware that he's on the brink of sleep. Does he truly believe that if his body succumbs here and now, the son of Laufey won't take advantage of the situation?

"Heimdall's eye sees far. I know what has happened in Svartalfheim. I know that you have saved your brother's life. I should punish both of you for disobedience and treason," says Odin, but his voice is still surprisingly gentle. "However, I do understand Thor's motivation. And now I think I might, to some extent, understand yours."

The god of mischief snorts quietly.

"Do not flatter yourself."

The All-Father shakes his head.

"What do you want, Loki?" He raises his hand before Loki has a chance to speak. "No. Think what you really desire. When you cast aside your pride, anger and sense of injustice, what remains? What does Loki wish for deep in his heart?"

The god of lies moves his lips, but no answer escapes them. This one time he has no lie to tell. _Revenge on Thor? Your death? The throne?_ The truth is that he does not desire any of these things. They are only half measures, whose sole purpose is to soothe whatever is hidden underneath. But the truth is too painful not only to be uttered aloud, but even to be put into words.

Odin lets out a heavy sigh.

"Go," he simply says.

Loki stares at him in disbelief. The All-Father smiles with sadness.

"Let us say that I am fulfilling your mother's last wish. Or that I am honoring her motherly love and insight. Because know this, Loki. Frigga has always seen you for the person you are. And she loved you as such. And Frigga was never wrong. So go." Having said these words, Odin turns and slowly walks away.

The god of mischief stands still for a long while, not fully comprehending what he's just heard. Finally he realizes that this is not a trick. And, what is more, that Odin is right. Which hurts Loki more than he could have expected. That is why, on a sudden impulse, he decides to take the final risk. He wouldn't stand a chance against the All-Father in an open fight. Odin, however, is on the verge of giving up to exhaustion, and, what is more, he is not facing his adopted son at the moment. Which is a mistake, a serious mistake, enabling the son of Laufey to prove that the king of Asgard has been wrong after all. In a sudden flash he deactivates the warding spells and concentrates all his power on the target in front of him. One well aimed magical blow finishes the deal and the All-Father ends up on the floor, finally succumbing to the Odinsleep. Loki immediately casts a concealing spell on the sleeping form and shifts his looks into that of his step-father. Grinning triumphantly, he approaches Odin, who now resembles a stone statue – one of the many littering the floor of now-ruined throne room (soon he will order the servants to put it away somewhere where no one would look; maybe even the dungeons?). He nudges the statue with the tip of his boot, before stooping and taking Gungnir into his hand.

"Thank you, Father," he whispers and for the first time in ages those words come out sincere. "I suppose this is exactly what I desired deep in my heart."


End file.
